LEGAL NOTICE: Temporal Hazmat Protocols Active

MANDATORY DISCLAIMER FOR ARTIFACT DISPATCH ACCESS

WARNING: TEMPORAL HAZMAT PROTOCOLS ARE ACTIVE AND NON-REVERSIBLE

By accessing, viewing, downloading, contemplating, or merely suspecting the existence of this website (hereinafter "The Portal," "Information Distribution Mechanism," or "Digital Containment Facility"), you acknowledge and assume full responsibility for exposure to Class-VII Archaeological Artifacts, Chrono-Unstable Materials, and/or Synthetically-Enhanced Memetic Hazards.

The Institute for Artifact-ial Research and Development (hereinafter "The Institute," "We," "Us," or "Those Who Remain") expressly disclaims liability for:

  • Cognitive mutations (symptom code CM-404)
  • Reality displacement syndromes (ISO-12.7 compliant)
  • Recursive liability loops exceeding 17 iterations
  • Truth-amplification cascades, and/or
  • Spontaneous conversion to pancake-based cosmologies

Protective measures may include but are not limited to: skeptical distancing (>3.5 meters), temporal grounding straps, and emergency cynicism tablets (chewable).

The Institute further denies accountability for viral breaches of consciousness, dialectical infection clusters, or autonomous conflict propagation that may spontaneously erupt in your personal info-sphere.

By proceeding, you waive your right to coherent causality and accept that correlation shall be treated as causation under Future Archaeologist Protocol FAP-21.

Note: the concepts of "fault," "responsibility," and "linear time" remain inadmissible per Autonomous Court Systems ruling ACS-7734 ("Method and Apparatus for Recursive Justice Distribution"). All disputes will be resolved through mandatory arbitration conducted by entities with uncertain consciousness status.

No warranties, express or implied, are provided regarding the authenticity, dimensional stability, or moral hygiene of any dispatch. All materials are distributed "as-excavated," "as-misremembered," and "as-foretold."

Known side effects include:

  • Involuntary pattern recognition
  • Uncontrollable déjà vu
  • Spontaneous understanding of machine law, and/or
  • The realization that your reflection is reading ahead of you

Should temporal displacement or memetic infection occur, discontinue exposure immediately and consult your nearest Reality Technician (availability not guaranteed).

CERTIFICATION STATEMENT

This disclaimer has been auto-generated, misinterpreted, and re-certified by the Law Laser 5000™ Automated Compliance Engine (Serial No. LL5K-BITE-THRU-7734). Designed to penetrate human concepts of justice while maintaining infinite deniability, the Law Laser 5000™ accepts no accountability for its own outputs.

Generated by Law Laser 5000™ — Patent Pending. For Investigational Use Only. Not Valid in Stable Timelines.

By reading this sentence, you confirm agreement to all foregoing clauses, including those retroactively applied to your past selves.